Oh, what a day this has been.
I woke up early to be sure that I was properly coiffed and polished for my court appointment.
I walked in and Michael wasn't there yet. My friend Karen was with me and we had some light conversation while we waited for things to get rolling. When Michael finally showed up, a load of weight was lifted off of my shoulders.
The man who told everyone he could that I couldn't take care of my health and my weight showed up having gained weight - and still a smoker. He looked horrible.
Not that I wanted to stick it to him, but it really felt good to show up feeling great and looking fabulous after everything he had put me through. And that he was in worse shape than when I last saw him - well, I've heard a thing or two about karma.
The whole process just boosted my confidence, as I sat and listened to the court commissioner read through our paperwork and list off assets and debts. While we are each leaving with what we came into the marriage with, that leaves me with my retirement accounts and student loans - and Michael with his car loan. No savings. No retirement. Just a new job that is paying less than he was making in his last permanent position.
I knew in August that I was in a better situation as far as finances and being able to take care of myself. However, hearing it all out loud - from the mouth of a stranger with just the facts in front of him - well, it really said a lot about the whole situation. It made me look at myself in a different light.
I bring a lot to the table. I brought a lot to the table in my marriage. I left with all of those things - and more. I've regained my confidence, my health, my life and my sense of direction and purpose.
Was today a day I've been dreading for months? YES! Without a doubt. There was a lot of anxiety and self-doubt leading up to this morning.
Did I end the day feeling stronger than ever? ABSOLUTELY!
Am I ready to go to bed and start fresh tomorrow? Yes...well, maybe that's just the bottle of Taittinger talking!
The picture: Flowers from friends, the great bicycle print we found while enjoying some retail therapy this afternoon, an empty bottle of Taittinger...I just cleared the last glass. Oh, water!!!
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