Originally Published September 18, 2011
***This began as a response to some posts on the "September Starters 2011" thread. I think it's appropriate to share, as we're all dealing with some of this.
Oh, friends...
We are all wading our way through this and I think we all need to take a minute and realize how awesome of a decision we have made. We have committed to follow this path and find our way to a healthy weight. I hope we all get to the goal line of this journey.
While we're all dealing with different issues and ended up here for different reasons, it sounds like there are many commonalities and that we're at or close to the same point in our journey is wonderful.
Emotional eating. Oh my. Yes! Sure am. Hand is in the air. That's me.
However, I promised myself that I wouldn't let that get me and I meant it.
A friend referred to this as my "divorce diet" yesterday and I told her, "Yes. True. But, I'm in this for the long haul." She was super excited for me. I'm not just doing this because I'm going through a divorce (If I weren't doing this, I'd be eating my way through the ice cream section of every grocery store in town, thank you Ben & Jerry!). I'm doing this because I DESERVE BETTER!
And so do the rest of you. We all do.
One of the things I do when I'm craving something, or have that urge (though there really haven't been many...yet) is to drink my water. I'm in the 20 cups a day ballpark. I get about 11 in before I come home from school. And, now that I'm looking at the bottle I use (my green 750 ml Camelbak), it's more than 3 cups per bottle. But, I count 3. I'm drinking so much water that when I'm not eating something, I'm usually full - of water!
I'm experimenting with different vegetables and I'm having so much fun. It's easy to get in a rut - and I certainly do, but I try to do something different each time if I am repeating veggies. I love cooking, so this is my outlet for that. Because soaking oatmeal and chili and adding some zip to them is NOT cooking.
As I head into a new week, I am focused on making everyday an on program day, drinking LOTS of water and treating myself and my body with respect. I wish the same for all of you.
***
I needed to come back, because I didn't get to everything that was in my head when responding just...a few minutes ago.
There's a lot that we're working on. Part of that is our emotions. Yes.
For me, this is an obvious thing - because I'm going through a major life-changing event. Granted, it's one that will take a few months to see it's resolution. But, the past six weeks have been one crazy ride for me. I won't bore you with the details (see more of my blog if you're interested - you may find a thing or two that could help you, or at least let you know you are not alone on this journey), but I have been digging through my emotions for a bit, now.
Right now, there's no way I could get through even one hour of this program without facing my emotions. I am making very conscious choices throughout the day, everyday.
It would be REALLY EASY for me to have moved forward from the night my husband told me he wanted a divorce and spent the next few months trying to make myself feel better with cheesecake, pizza, ice cream...frozen custard (if you've never had it - it's amazing, but not something any of us need to be thinking about). I could have done that, sure. But, I'd be MORE unhealthy, MORE fat, MORE unhappy, MORE stuck in an unhealthy relationship - with food!
Every day I do things that will make my life better. Whether it's making my bed as soon as I wake up, doing the dishes when I'm done eating or making my shake, planning my meals, sticking to the list at the grocery store, saying "No, thank you." when offered pizza on three separate occasions this week, telling my friends what I need from them - in regards to support as I go through the divorce and in spending time together and what my choices regarding food will include, telling my parents what I need as far as more or less contact and face-time.
If I've learned anything (and I'm at the very beginning of all of this), it is that I need to take care of myself. Oh, yeah...sounds obvious, easy and like it's a given. Well, that includes a lot more than we think. I need to advocate for myself. I need to ask for help. Yes, you read that correctly. I need to ASK FOR HELP. I bet you do, too.
Last weekend - well, a few days before, but who's marking the calendar? - I had a cathartic experience. I finally hit the point where I was able to talk about the divorce (see blog about putting everything on the table). My family and friends had/still have lots of questions for me. But, I was able to open up, let people know where I'm at with everything. Whether it's dealing with the divorce or the food, the people around me need to know what I'm dealing with - how I feel, what my food plan looks like, what a Lean & Green is, what my food looks like, how much I'm willing to share - if they are going to be able to help me through these simultaneous journeys that I am on.
I did put everything on the table last week. And, I'm continuing to do so everyday. I'm continuing to work towards a healthier and happier Jennifer. If I don't, who will? And, as much work as this is for me, I have asked the people in my life to help me. I have even asked my students to stop offering me candy, birthday cupcakes, etc. They know I love them. They know I'll be happy to celebrate with them - with my bottle of water or a piece of sugar-free gum.
Don't be afraid to include the people around you in your journey. Whatever it is you're dealing with, it's not just about the food. We need to take stock of where we are and plan to make everyday better.
If I can, you can.
Now, let's do this!
